- July 1, 2020
Families and relationships
Running Header: FAMILIES AND RELATIONSHIPS
Fromtime immemorial, children have always learned from their parents andthose older than them. It is very rare to find a child learning fromsomeone who is younger than him or her. This clearly says that allthe characters in an individual were influenced by the people whowere before them. Most of the values and characters were instilled atthe young age of the kid while others the kid learned from observinghis/her seniors and adopting them. This shows that the behaviors ofthe old influence the kind of future the kids will lead when theymature. This ranges from relationships to the social characters(Hopson& Hopson, 2012).
Whydo the man and woman always have to play "their role" in arelationship?
Manand woman are the primary elements in a family. They are the originsof the family. By coming together to become a couple, man and womanare tasked with the responsibility of carrying on procreation. Thismeans that man and woman are the two beings that carry on thecontinuity of life. By coming together, man is obliged to protect thewife, provide for her and love her. This is the main reason thatmakes man the head of the family while the wife is tasked withmanaging the belongings of the husband which includes the homestead.Also, she has a responsibility to give birth to kids who will succeedthem when their resting time comes by. This means that according toboth the African and American culture, both the husband and the wifehave a role to play in a relationship(Hopson& Hopson, 2012).
TheAfrican culture sees the woman as a submissive being who is to becontrolled by the husband and who should respect and follow theorders of the man as compared to today’s world where every beinghas a right to an opinion and a say regardless of the gender.Nevertheless, every individual who is in a relationship has a role toplay which much looks like the early functions. The only aspect thathas changed is that women nowadays have the right to be employed andto provide for the family as compared to their ancient roles whichwere to reproduce and look after the homestead. Although many changesare occurring, the only major role that cannot be reversed or sharedis the women role of reproduction. This means that women have thetask in a relationship to bring forth kids as a way of lifecontinuity.
Shouldyou stay in a relationship just for the kids?
Themain aim of a relationship is for companionship. In the way ofcompanionship, kids come up as a way of enlarging the family. This isthe way of nature of ensuring continuity of life after death wipes ofthe aged or the sick. The children fill up the gaps left, so itbrings about balance in the ecology. Kids are an essential part ofthe family. Many cultures, both American and African, see children asflowers in the family. They bring beauty into the family and increaselove between the couple.
Childrenshould not be left to suffer because of the actions of the parentsyet one couple should not suffer in a relationship in the name ofprotecting the kids. This means that no one couple should use thechildren as a reason to oppress the other partner in believing thathe/she will stay in the relationship to be with the kids. This doesnot give room for divorce or departing from the family way anytimesmall argument arises.
Thekids are gifts from the supreme beings as taught in differentreligions and also according to several cultures. The American andAfrican culture believe that for a kid to be all round, she or heneeds both maternal and paternal care and directions. What this meansis that availability of the mother and father in the life of a kidinfluences the kind of person very much in the society he or she willbe. It is a noble thing to stay in a relationship for the sake of thekids, but everything has its limits. An individual cannot be thesubject of torture and abuse just for the sake of the kids. The kidsare not the end of life. Furthermore, they grow up and leave thecouple alone and go to start their families.
*Cana relationship be truly successful if one person holds all the powerin the relationship?
Inthe traditional cultural setting, the woman was a submissive being ina relationship. This meant that the man had the ultimate authority ina relationship and his decision was final and unchallengeable. Insome African culture, they even counted women together with otherholdings which were owned by the man and this included animals suchas cows and goats. This was in the ancient times when women were seenas helpless beings that were entitled to nothing other than givingbirth and staying by the fireside preparing food for the husband.Others even saw women as vessels of pleasure(Scudder& Bishop, 2011).
Inthe current world, there is much advocacy for human rights andequality between both genders. This means that a woman holds equal ornear equal rights and responsibilities in a relationship just like aman. When one being becomes so oppressive in a relationship in thecontemporary world, the other, just terminates the relationship. Thecurrent issues have seen so many changes in the nature ofrelationships with some people in the developed countries opting forcontract relationship all in the aim of creating an equalrelationship where the man or woman does not become oppressive. Italso removes the submissive aspect of the woman in a relationship asthe woman will bargain for good and suiting rights and treatment.
Inthe current world where there is advocacy of equality rights, arelationship where one being holds too much power cannot succeed. Asuccessful relationship in the world and the era we are living in isa relationship where all the individuals have equal rights and powersand also has contributions towards the relationship. A relationshipwhere an individual holds too much power belongs to the era that haspassed and has no place in todays` community. Whydo you believe so many marriages end up falling apart within thefirst 2-5 years?
Inthe world where everybody is speaking of equality and human rights,every individual in the relationship will be looking at his or herrights being fulfilled. This means that they will be less concernedabout how they treat their partners, rather they will only and mainlyfocus on their rights and how they are being treated. This will bringa gap between the partners as each partner tries to fulfill therights of the other. This will lead to straining and the eventualcollapse of the relationship(Scudder& Bishop, 2011).
Anotherthing is the high expectations couples have on the relationship. Theyalways assume that their relationships will gold-coated which aremuch far expectations for a relationship. This leads to not beingcontented when the expectations they had on their relationship failto be accomplished. This means that they will go out to look for thegoals leaving the relationship at the stake of collapse. This willlead to many relationships failing.
Thefinal and major factor that is leading relationships to fail iscomparing relationships with those of their friends. What they forgetis that they don`t know what the others are doing or going throughfor their relationship to be the way it is. Comparison betweenrelationships leads to couples not being contented by how theirrelationship is leading to failed relationships. Didyou pick a partner that reminds you of your mother/father? Or did youfind someone totally opposite them your parents?
Inchoosing partners, the upbringing of an individual matters a lot andplays a lot of roles in deciding whom to be with. For example, for aboy who had a very responsible mother, the most likelihood is that hewill try to look for a girl or lady who more or less looks like hermother as he will believe that she will be responsible just like hismother. This may come out to be the opposite, and he will never becontented in the relationship(Hopson& Hopson, 2012).
Fora gal who had a very irresponsible father, the most likely option isthat she will look for a boy whom she views to be totally differentthan her dad as she will want her relationship to be better than herchildhood. A gal who had a responsible father will look for a boywith characters like her father as she believes he will beresponsible for her and their kids.
Hopson,D. & Hopson, D. (2012). Friends,lovers, and soul mates(1st ed.). New York: Simon & Schuster.
Scudder,J. & Bishop, A. (2011). BeyondFriendship and Eros(1st ed.). Albany: State University of New York Press.