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Peer Review Responses

PEER REVIEW 3

PeerReview Responses

Post#1 Response

Educationis necessary for everyone since they are born, without an educationwe grow up knowing nothing. Education should be a right as we grow upfrom toddlers to an adolescent (18 years old), and consider it aprivilege after we graduate High School. Education is one of the mostimportant things in life, and the more we know the better andunderstanding person we become.

Thewriter expresses his opinions well in the discussion on why educationis important. Analyzing the introduction, no element of attention isincorporated the author rather starts with a statement on why hebelieves education is important and goes ahead to refer to a sourceinstead of drawing upon his opinion. When considering theintroduction statement as the thesis, it is not so clear as to whatkind of education the client deems as necessary. This implies that,according to the author, there are some other types of education thatare not required. The claims presented are clear and support theauthor’s argument. The writer clearly supports the claims withexamples. He takes us through the learning journey from the beginningto the end of High school studies. The author mentions the subjectsthat are important and illustrates how they contribute towards aperson’s life and the society. The author tries to support thearguments with one research material, but it is not well integratedinto the text. The in-text citation is not well done according to anyof the citation styles.

Whatthe author could have done is, to concentrate more on the benefits ofeducation in general rather than discussing the subjects learned inhigh school. The contribution of such subjects to the society shouldhave been elaborated clearly and base the argument on the currentaffairs of education.

Post#2 ResponseBusiness and Economics: Is the American Dream stillalive?

Thewriter begins with an introduction statement that draws the attentionof the reader by stating the main reasons why achieving the Americandream is impossible. A clear and strong thesis statement is evidentin the introduction. Throughout the text, the author tries to supportthe argument with facts and figures. The writer takes the readerthrough a brief history of the US labor market since 1970’s todate, illustrating how job skills required have changed while thecompensation has stagnated. The author seems to be passionate aboutthe subject and takes the opportunity to express his disgust as towhy the American dream will never come true. The claims are all clearand straight forward with evidence drawn from the figures presented.However, the author does not make use of the research materials well.The data presented are not referenced, which makes a reader questionthe credibility of the information. Although three sources arelisted as reference materials, only one is incorporated into thetext.

Ingeneral, the writer has expounded the subject well with argumentsthat are persuasive. What needs to be improved is the in-textcitation. It is a requirement that all references used must beincorporated into the text to avoid plagiarism. Given that thediscussion is about an economic issue, graphs should have been usedto show trends over a given period and a comparison with anothernation could also be necessary to understand the main reasons for thepoor economic performance in the US.